the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
