For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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