We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
