I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
if only i could text you this smell
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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