how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
