Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
