the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
