the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
