these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
