There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
