don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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