i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
