I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
