You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
