I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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