Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
