Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
