I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
