I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
