I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize