i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize