You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
