Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
