If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
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I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
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I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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