I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
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