I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
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