Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
