Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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