Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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