I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize
