im about as happy as oj after his trial
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize