I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
