Your dad touched me again.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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