worst night to have a conscience
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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