do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
