She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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