I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
