They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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