i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize