girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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