Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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