I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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