From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
