i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
