At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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