can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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