I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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