So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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