He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
