So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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