It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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