I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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