So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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