I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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