perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Randomize
