Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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