She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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