help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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