i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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