That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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