I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
