Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
