You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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