I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
