BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
