fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
she pinky promised me she was 18
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I think I sprained my soul last night
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
