yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
