Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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